Feeling disposable and temporary in the lives of others is a heavy weight to carry, and it’s one I’ve always struggled with and it's been creeping back in again. It’s like no matter how much I give or how deeply I invest myself, I’m met with an expiration date I never agreed to. People come into my life, take what they need—time, love, energy, pieces of me—and then leave when it’s no longer convenient.
It leaves me questioning: What is wrong with me? Why am I not enough to stay for? I know, logically, that their actions are more about them than me, but that doesn’t soften the ache or silence the doubts. Each time it happens, it chips away at my ability to trust, to feel worthy, to believe I deserve more than this revolving door of temporary connections.
The hardest part is how it makes me second-guess the relationships I still have. When someone says they care, I can’t help but wonder: For how long? When will you leave too? I hate that it makes me want to hold people at arm’s length, just to protect myself from the inevitable loss.
But amidst the storm of those who’ve left, there are the precious few who’ve stayed. The ones who see me—not just in my best moments but in my messiest, rawest ones—and choose to stay anyway. Some of them even came back when I thought I’d lost them forever. It’s those rare souls who keep me going, who remind me that not everyone will see me as temporary. They remind me that I’m not unlovable, even on the days I can’t see it myself.
They are my anchors, holding me steady when I feel like I’m drifting. I carry their love and loyalty with me, and I hope they know how deeply grateful I am for them. They give me hope, even in the darkest moments, that maybe I am worth staying for after all.
🫰🫂🫖
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I know exactly what instigated this post and trust me when I say, they don't and never did deserve you. 🦅🪶TJ