I try to clear these thoughts from inside my head, as I lay here restless in my bed, seems that no one can fully comprehend, how the weight of the world lingers from doubt to consequence.
But that’s the life of a person with borderline, one minute on top of the world, the next I’m drowning in my mind, never letting any one to get close enough to know me, because the image I portray and who I really am, aren’t the same. I can appear to be a woman of grace, with the world at her finger tips, but deep inside fear drives me, eats at me, and controls me.
I wear a smile on my freckled face, but inside my mind I feel as if I’m just a waste of time, I’m untrusting but trust worthy, loving to extremes and feeling heavily, see no one could ever understand how self defeating it really is, cause very few would last a single minute in my head.
I walk in enormous foot prints, stumbling and lost inside my own head, fear and doubt, anger and hurt weighing me down, so I find myself always stumbling off the ground.
What can I do when my own mind turns against me?
When I don’t know if my own thoughts are real….
How do I cope when I’m my own worst enemy?
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